The Twenty Dollar Date

When you’re out of work, there isn’t any money for extras. You’re constantly counting the pennies and working on your budget to make sure you can take care of your family’s needs. It is stressful, exhausting and it can takes it toll. We’ve found that we need to make sure we find ways to still have some fun so that our days are not filled with the pressure of keeping our heads above water. We find coupons for free movies from Redbox or check out films from the library and save out $10 and get a pizza from Costco so we can have a pizza and movie night, or we make a batch of popcorn and watch comedians on Netflix that have us laughing and forgetting our problems.

And we certainly have a lot on our plate these days. Since January we took in my son’s girlfriend, my father died and we moved my mother in to live with us, and we’ve struggled with the problems of going from a family of four to one of six. Hasn’t been easy, let me tell you!

One thing that we haven’t been able to do, Stan and I, is have a date night in the past seven months. It’s important that with all we’re going through that we try to keep positive and make sure that the situation doesn’t take a hit on our marriage. Any time that we have alone seems to be busy time -- running errands, taking care of business, seeing to everyone’s needs. A Date??! There just didn’t seem to be any money for something so extravagant. At least, I thought that until I started to think about it.

I started to think that if I could hold out $20 from our funds perhaps we could do something for us. And I’ve thought of a few things. Last night we had our first $20 date and it was SO MUCH FUN!

We went to Gunther Toody’s Diner here in town. Now granted, a sit down restaurant was a stretch, but we shared an order of fish n’ chips. It came with a bottomless cup of soup. Our waiter brought us each our own cup, and then split the order onto two plates. It was perfect!

We sat there for two hours, eating, talking, and just being together. Out of the house,

away from everything and focusing on us and our relationship. It was wonderful! After dinner we took a long drive. It had rained earlier and the air was soft, cool and smelled so sweet. Again we talked as we drove ... no radio, no distractions. We finally wound up at BJ’s Velvet Freeze and had ice cream cones.

All in all, it was a lovely evening and it did us both a world of good. Our final cost for the night was $20.25!! How great is that?

We’ve decided we’re going to try to do a $20 date night a couple of times a month, and thought of other things we could do: tacos at Taco Bell and catching a movie at the second run theater; attending one of the free summer concerts around town; picking up sandwiches and driving to the mountains for a picnic .... when you think about it there are many things to do.

I am really looking forward to thinking of creative things we can come up with. But mostly, I’m looking forward to spending time with the man I love most in the world. Can’t think of a better way to spend twenty bucks!

Kevin and I Buy a Car!

Kevin and I bought a car together! A first for me, that's for sure. It's helping build his credit and it's making life easier for us. With Kevin going to school at Pike's Peak and working, and then AJ going to UCCS we were stretched trying to figure out how to accomodate both of their schedules with only one car. It wasn't going to work. And with the price of gas I saw nothing but $$ flying away.

We decided to get a little car that Kevin could use since he will be doing most of the driving. We looked for a used car and wound up purchasing a 2003 Ford Taurus. It's a great little car and will be wonderful for him. Things will run much smoother this fall when the two boys are so busy!

Of course, I'll still be without a car most of the time, but I guess that'll just leave me more time for writing!

The Waldo Canyon Fire

A fire started right near Colorado Springs on Saturday, June 23rd. It has been a devestating experience for us to watch the destruction and see as this fire grows exponentially each day. I'm sharing some photos for friends and family.

We are doing well. We are far enough away that we are not terribly affected by this. Ash and smoke are making things difficult for AJ and his asthma. Most of the toll is emotional to see what has happened to our beautiful area. We lost Flying W Ranch, which was heartbreaking, along with hundreds of homes.

The firefighters have been simply amazing! And the community has really been pulling together to support those who've been evacuated and those who are fighting this disaster. Here are some photos:

 Helicopters, C130 Tankers and hundreds of men and women on the ground.

It may take awhile, but they will get control!

 Even the Air Force Academy has been affected.

 Our beautiful mountains .... so sad!

 This fire is like none the fire fighters have ever seen.

One day going north, then south, then east.

It's a beast!

 The fire jumped containment lines and two ridges in about 20 minutes.

It was so frightening to watch!

 An aerial shot of the Flying W Ranch

One of our favorite places. Hopefully they'll rebuild

346 homes and 2 lives lost.

Overall, I think we're pretty blessed.

This map shows the growth of the fire.

Arrow

Today has been a hard day. For all of us, but especially for Kevin. Last night we took his pet budgie to the emergency vet. He's been sick for about ten days and his right leg had gone lame. We thought he had a bad cold and got him some medicine. But last night around 6pm Kevin noticed a lump on him and that, even though he's been eating a lot, he was very thin.

The vet told us that Arrow had cancer. The tumor was so big it was pressing on his nerves paralyzing his leg. Even if we went to extreme measures to help him, he probably wouldn't survive long. They were very compassionate with Kevin, and after he made the difficult decision, they let him have some time with his friend and say goodbye. They also made a clay disk of Arrow's footprints and beak print with his name on it.

It's hard to believe how a little bird could work his way into our hearts like Arrow did. Because of him we got other birds.  We lost Eddie last year, and got Stella this year. Arrow, Sparky and Stella have been a great little trio, but clearly Arrow was always the "alpha."

He was so attached to Kevin that he had little to do with the rest of us. He always knew when it was time for Kevin to come home from school and would start to get excited when that time came. When he would hear his footsteps on the porch he always knew if it was Kevin and would start to chirp and sing when it was him. He yelled at us when we did things he didn't like, would yell when I blew my nose cause he didn't like the sound, would let Kevin hold him on his back in his hand and would climb all over him when he was let out of the cage. When he went a couple of days without enough "Kevin Time" he would get grumpy and Stan would tell him to get Arrow out of the cage and give him some play time with his favorite human. Very sweet.

These are a couple of my favorite pictures of Arrow. We put AJ's Godzilla figure on the floor to see what Arrow would do. He marched right up to it and yelled at it.

Then he seemed to turn around and walk away with a "I don't have time for this nonsense" attitude. He was a big-hearted little guy with a giant personality. I know Kevin is going to miss him, but I miss him too. He was a real character. I am impressed with how these little creatures fight so hard to stay with their owners. He must have been miserable for a long time, but you would never have known.

I believe animals have spirits and know things. One of our favorite stories about Arrow was right after we got him it was General Conference. When the Mormon Tabernacle Choir started to sing, he sang along. He loved that choir and would often sing along when he would hear them. When President Hinckley started to speak, he pressed against the cage to see him. He heard the prophet's voice and wanted to see who it was.

It's sad to lose a friend. Four legged, feathered, furry and of course human. It's always painful, but it's nice to know we'll see them again.

Sparky and Arrow

What Are Ya Gonna Do?

There's been a lot of chatter in the media lately about gas prices hitting and going over $4 a gallon. In nine states it's already over that. Here in Colorado it's creeping slowly towards it and I'm not sure what the next step is going to be as far as the family budget goes.

Not only are gas prices rising, but food prices are getting crazy. I used to be able to buy a bag a chicken breasts at Sam's Club or Costco for about $10 a bag, and it's now $23. Same thing for things like peanut butter, pasta, bread, soup, cereal ... it's all skyrocketing at a time when there's no where else to cut. Monthly bills are one area it's difficult to manage. The only place it seems cutting back is an option is at the grocery store and with discretionary spending.

Personally, I've already cut our grocery budget to $75 a week, and sometimes I can't do it for that! The boys share one car to go to school, but college campuses aren't exactly in the neighborhood and getting to school four days a week takes a lot of gas. We're now up to $90 a week with two cars and I'm afraid that isn't going to be satisfactory for much longer.

Of course, the money coming in to take care of these inflating costs is not rising. I know many people are taking pay cuts just to be able to keep their jobs. My boys go out on interviews for jobs at pet stores, fast food joints, etc. and are competing with men in their 30s and 40s who are married with children.

I don't know. The financial experts keeps saying the recession is over. I'm not sure where they're looking, but it definitely isn't in my house!

Sleep Deprivation

I haven't been doing much lately in the way of my blog, or my writing, or much of anything else.  For those of you who don't know,  I use a CPAP to sleep with.  I was diagnosed with sleep apnea 15 years ago and have slept with one of those machines ever since.  It changed my life.  I went from not sleeping to getting rest and energy back again.

A few weeks ago my CPAP started acting up, and finally died on me.  My husband dug out my old machine from 15 years ago (and set for California's sea level altitude) and I've been using that.  The problem is it no longer works well, and I am exhausted.  All. The. Time.

My insurance said I had to do a sleep study before they would give me a new machine (they cost about $1500 so I cannot buy one myself).  At the sleep center they said I had to take the test without a CPAP to prove I still had apnea.  Since it's been so long for me on a machine I cannot sleep without it, and I never have slept without one at this altitude.  I failed miserably.  I am now waiting to redo the test.

In the interim I am so tired, always tired, and everything seems like a chore.  I feel weepy all the time and cranky and short tempered.  My arthritis, which is usually controllable to some extent, is going crazy since my body never really gets to rest fully, so now I'm figgity all the time trying to get comfortable.  My doctor gave me a prescription for some sleeping pills and they are helping a little, but now my husband and sons are telling me my eyes are puffy with blue circles under them.  Lovely.

The reason I'm whining about all this is to ask for your indulgence.  I'm not around much, not doing much.  I'm hoping this doesn't last too much longer and I'll soon be out there getting involved again.  In the meantime, don't forget about me!  I'm still here!  And I hope you are all out there kicking it up and have fun for me.

Another Goodbye

My Great Aunt Charlotte, 98, has died.  Even though it was expected, it still saddens me.  I know she is back in the embrace of her sweetheart, Uncle Pete, and surrounded by the family she loves so much.  Those of us she left behind will have to wait a season before we see her again, and it comforts me to know she will be there waiting for my mother.  The two of them were so very close, and loved each other so much. 

Her daughters, my cousins Charmaine and Diane, gave her so much love and devotion.  I am glad that Charlotte was able to die at home in her own bed, surrounded by love and peace.  What a beautiful gift her daughters gave to her. 

I'm glad I am a member of such a loving family.

Goodbye Charlotte.  Love you.

What To Do

I have been communicating with my mother's cousin recently.  Her mother, my great aunt Charlotte, is my mother's closest friend.  More than an aunt, Charlotte is only ten years older than my mother and since my mom was a little girl she and Charlotte have had a special bond, a deep love and friendship that goes beyond aunt and niece.  She means everything to my mother, and now it looks like Charlotte is on her last journey.

At 98 she has lived a good life.  A teacher, she has always loved talking and learning and reading and being part of everything.  Now, blind, deaf and increasingly isolated and weakened, her daughters, and all of us who love Charlotte, are preparing ourselves to say goodbye to her.

And I don't know how to help my mother do that. 

Charlotte's been a part of her life, a big part, for more than 80 years.  I can't imagine the hole that will leave. 

I'm so grateful to know that this is only temporary, and our sorrow is for ourselves because we will miss knowing she is here.  And when we meet again it will be joyful.

I guess the one thing that I can remind my mom is that Charlotte's love for her will not end.  And she will see her again someday.

Good Things Come To Those Who Blog

Earlier this week I talked about a bad day we were having ... trouble with our two cars and Kevin needing new lenses for his glasses.  It felt so overwhelming that I didn't know which way to turn.  I prayed that we would be given the wisdom and knowledge to find a way to take care of everything.

Well, good things do come to those who blog.  First, several of my sweet friends offered to drive us or help out if we needed to get somewhere.  And several also told us about a place where we would be able to purchase more affordable lenses for Kevin.  It warmed my heart to know that my friends cared enough to offer their assistance and to share their information like that.

Then the day afterwards my sweet friend Trisha called and said they had the same problem with their car window that we did and that her husband was willing to come over and see if he could help.  And he did!  It was so great ... he came over after work on Tuesday and helped Stan and Kevin get the window back up in position and fix it so it won't go back down until (and if) we decide to get it fixed at the repair shop.  Yeah!  Now we don't have to worry about the snow that's coming!

Last night my darling friend Tara and her husband brought us chocolate cupcakes, which was so great!  Chocolate is my drug of choice, and it really hit the spot, let me tell you!

Today another of my sweet friends, Sarah, called and offered us the use of a car that they are not currently in need of until we can get the van fixed, since the van cannot be driven until we get the coolant system repaired.  She was so adorable in her more than generous offer saying, "I'm not taking no for an answer," and "I don't have $600 to give you to fix the van, but I can let you use our car."  This is going to help out so much.  AJ is unable to attend his evening classes tonight because Stan had to go to work and cannot drive/pick him up as he did on Tuesday.  And getting him to work has been dicey too, plus with Seminary and school starting up next for Kevin again I didn't know how we were going to coordinate things since I won't have any money until late next week. 

I have to say, that terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day we had is turning out to be a lesson in love and generosity for our family.  And blessings are pouring down on us!  Thank you to all our friends!

Our Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day ....

My mother always says trouble comes in threes.  Well, today we proved that to be true.  Kevin had an eye appointment, which is not trouble, but it turns out his eyes have gone through such a change that even though he got new glasses a year ago, he needs new lenses again.  My first thought was thank goodness, since lenses alone put in his current frames are less than a whole new pair of glasses.  But nope!  The lenses she recommends are $140.  Great.

On the way home from the doctor the car had major problems.  The boys got it home okay, but it turns out the coolant system blew up.  $600.  Yipee.

Then one of the power windows on Stan's car went down, but refuses to go back up.  He and the boys worked on it for over two hours with no success.  Finally had to patch it up as best they could since snow is coming later this week.  $200 we hope not more.  Lovely.

Now, if only I could find that pesky ten grand I misplaced we'd be fine, but ... oh right!  That was a dream I had one night.

At least our day ended on a pleasant note.  Kevin had some allowance put away and begged to take us out for dinner.  It was nice to get out and away from all these dumb problems.  So, we may have had a lot of stuff dumped on us that we caqn't tke care of for a couple of weeks, but we have the sweetest boys and we truly are a happy family. 

So I guess it wasn't such a bad day after all .......

A SPECIAL REQUEST

About a month ago I posted the news that AJ had put in his papers for his mission.  It took a long year before he was able to submit those papers.  He wants so badly to serve a mission and that year of waiting was difficult for him. 

Unfortunately, he has hit another snag in his quest and this time it is hitting him very hard.  I am afraid he is close to giving up his dream, and I know that is not what he wants. 

Tonight he asked me if I would "ask all your ladies" if you would pray for him and if you can, join us in a fast next Sunday, the 20th, that he might be able to fulfill his desire to serve a mission.

Those of you who know AJ know what a great person he is and what a wonderful missionary he will make.  Please remember him in your prayers that this might happen for him.  Thank you very much.

Just Thinking

This has been a tough decade. Not only for my family, bur for everyone I know. And you know what I've decided? You know that old saying, "only the good die young"? Well, that's just a dumb saying as far as I'm concerned. But I do believe that the good are tested to the limit of their capabilities. And those of us who are trying to do the right thing, to live well and honorably, helping each other and serving others, I think we're all being put on the block right now.

Things are hard, but I also believe that as long as we view things with a positive and hopeful heart we will be alright. Remember that song from "Santa Claus is Coming to Town?" I think it says it all .......

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

You never will get where you’re going
If you never get up on your feet
Come on, there’s a good tail wind blowing
A fast walking man is hard to beat

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

If you want to change your direction
If your time of life is at hand
Well don’t be the rule be the exception
A good way to start is to stand

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you’ll be walking out the door

If I want to change the reflection
I see in the mirror each morn
You mean that it's just my election
To vote for a chance to be reborn

Jules Bass
“Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” 1970

Meet Jasper!

We have another new member of the family! We adopted a ten week old Australian Shepherd mix and have named him Jasper. He's a cutie pie, and has already added a lot to our family.


I didn't want to have a home without dogs in it when Daisy leaves us on Friday. It would feel way to lonely and empty. We adopted Max last month, and now Jasper, and it feels complete now to have them with us.

Daisy is really cute about the new additions. She sits regally and puts up with their shenanigans, but you can see she thinks they're annoying. I appreciate her patience. As we fuss over her and give her hugs, walks and treats she seems to eat it all up.

The new puppies won't take her place, but they'll certainly make her passing easier for us.

One of those weeks!

I'm sure glad I have a garden full of hyacinths in my heart, because this has been a week I'd rather forget. Our poor ol' van, a 1998, keeps having problems. At this stage of the game, the problems are always in the hundreds of dollars range to fix, if not the thousands. This time, someone hit our rear door awhile back and we can't open it. Our insurance is paying to fix it -- yeah! -- and then last Friday night the drivers seat broke and now we can't drive it (unless you can do so lying flat on your back!).

It's been in the shop all week, and we have been dealing with one car. But, since Stan work's swing shift he has to leave at 2:15 in the afternoon and doesn't get back until close to midnight. This leaves us without transportation every afternoon and evening.

Not so bad, you might say, but AJ has been dealing with a nasty cold, and now it looks like he might have bronchitis. We have no way to get him to the doctor until tomorrow morning when he is supposed to be at work, and in the meantime he is coughing so hard it makes my chest hurt!

Just now Kevin came and showed me how the barber cut a mole when cutting his hair a couple of days ago, and now that mole is bleeding and painful. Again, no way to get to the doctor until tomorrow morning. When it rains, as we know in Colorado, it very often hails!

What I'd like to know is, how did people get along with only one car back in the day? I feel completely stuck and frustrated. Ah well .... at least I have the luxury of complaining about such things, right?